Today was probably my most difficult day so far. It didn't help that I spent forever writing in my journal last night and didn't get to bed until pretty late. Me + not enough sleep = not good. But, we headed out the door for another day. I had 3 of the boys this morning. It was crazy and out of control the whole time. First, they are boys and very active boys! R and G are about 2 and 3 years old and they play well together for the most part, but they also tend to imitate each other's behavior, both bad and good.
Today - throwing toys and hiding in the curtains (the one place where the worker specifically told me to NOT let the kids go) was the big thing today. It's hard when the discipline is inconsistent between me and the workers. I hate disciplining them in the first place - but it's even harder to try to explain why they can't do something and tell them why they are in trouble because I only know a few words and because I don't know how much they understand. I don't want to just say "NU!" when they throw a toy at one of the other kids or pull their hair. I tried distracting them, helping them play together, teaching them to be gentle, and playing games and singing songs. A few times, my attempts were successful. Occasionally, they did it anyways. Needless to say, it was a long few hours. Sometimes I would just have to remove them from the situation completely and explain to them why they can't behave like that. I feel like with kids, you have to let them know that you didn't like their behavior, but that you still love them anyways. I hope even with my limited vocabulary, they were still able to understand that. I know I still have a lot to learn before I become a parent someday.
At the hospital, we had our little boy "jacob" again. He was better today when we left, but we also didn't give him as much attention and work with him as much as we would have liked. I realized that I don't want to see the day when we come up to see him and he is gone. A physical therapist came in today to give him a massage and to help clear his lungs. We were asking him how long he thought this little boy would be here. He told us he had no idea. He didn't know his name, anything about his medical history, anything about his parents, or where he came from and where he was going after he gets released. To them, he might be another patient or "john doe" but to me, he is something special.
And, I found a bunch of bug bites on my legs this morning. I'm hoping it is mosquitos.
I think working with my kids this morning, not having a good sleep, the possibility that I might have bed bugs and a combination of other things made today a hard day. I have been more prone to become irritated and frustrated, and I know that isn't how I should be. So, I am going to go to bed and hope that tomorrow brings a better day or that I am able to have a better attitude about things.
Sorry to be a negative nancy. On the positive side - I had a fantastic dinner. I made stir-fried vegetables and spaghetti! (Yes, cheers because I finally found spaghetti sauce in Romania!)
Well noapte buna!
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